The scene is a normal one, not uncommon in the life of an everyday teenager. A group of teens sit in a room, looking for something to do. "Lets go to the movies!" Says one young soul. "The movies! What a great idea!" Echoes another "What should we see?". The first teen says to the other "What about Jumper. That looks exciting!"
Freeze frame.
At times like this it is imperative for one to think. "Should I really forsake IMDB's rating of 6 Stars out of 10? Maybe the movie isn't that great." You may then cast aside those preliminary thoughts with a cursory ponderanceand ponder "What do they know at IMDB? They are just a bunch of random people from the internet and that means they are automatically wrong."
Fine. I accept that you may think like that. If you didn't then that would mean you might actually take stock in what I have say, and a world were people listen to what I have to say scares the shit out of me.
With all this appraisal, I implore you to consider the point of view of some professionals like those at Rotten Tomatoes. "Their reviews of FOURTEEN percent probably come from their high-faloot'n point of view as artsy hippies." You say surrounded by your peers who nod in approval. "Those chumps at Rotten Tomatoes give everything a bad rating."
Whatever. Totally ignore these critics. Fine, but consider my opinion (lolz, yeah right. am-I-right?):
The movie was terrible. The ghost of a plot was swallowed up by the terrible acting and annoying characters that made themselves incessantly apparent throughout the film. Whenever I began to forget the ghastly shell of a film in favor of thoughts of how cool it would be to teleport like the people in the movie, the painfully caustic cast members grated against my last nerve.
It seems like they made a rough draft of a film and then meant to bring the reel to the test audience rather than the real audiences. The main character, played by Hayden Christiansen, has little to no character development throughout the film apart from an "everyman" characterization; and it seems the director decided to add an awkward love interest halfway through the film.
After watching the movie I am forced to think that Rachel Bilson auditioned for the role of "Nagging, whiny girlfriend who is moderately attractive, but NEVER shuts the hell up", and if that is the role for which she auditioned then she deserves the goddamn best actress Oscar nomination.
If you have 10 dollars and think it would be great to go see a movie... go see Juno or... rent a better movie. I think 3:10 to Yuma is out on DVD. See that fantastic film.
~Mike
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